Chi High

Chi High!

I’m trying to begin the blogs with something more exciting than statements like “Well I found some quarters today” or “So…Tennis anyone?”  It’s a work in progress I think.  As to give you the ever constant reader (man that’s an egocentric comment) an idea as to what my idea is for this blog is to share my experiences here.  That being said I will omit any experiences that I feel will scare my wife, friends, family or violate any expressed written consent from the National Football League.  If there is anything really cool that happens, I will leave to share over a couple pints at some later date.  So with that said… 

I have discovered Iraqie Tea or “Chi Tea” as they call it.  Well they don’t call it that it’s what we call it but my sandscript buttons for the computer fell off and I couldn’t type it the old fashioned way.  Let me begin on the production of this local delicacy; you start with about ¼ cup of dark Arabian Tea and 12 pounds of SUGAR!  WOW!  It’s like drinking jet fuel!  After a cup and what seems like the rest of your life, everything is at super fast forward, things go by at a blur, and you speak in one word paragraphs.  HowyadoinIamfinethanksforaskingthatsaneatpenyouhaveisithotinhereIworeshoestodayfisharefunnyanimalswasthatadwarf?  Then for about twenty minutes you accomplish every task you have for the entire day.  The other weird part is depending on your mental state or how your spending your day, it is possible (now I haven’t experienced this yet) to run through every conceivable human emotion in thirty seconds.  In short the experience is comparable to building your own house with your bare hands, watching your favorite team win the Super Bowl and watching the scene where little Billy shots Ol’Yellar all at the same time.  These emotions and feelings are so shocking to the system that your first reaction once you’ve come off the Chi High, is that of a wild animal being let loose after a couple of months spent in captivity.  You stagger around for a few moments, sniffing things, your kind of confused and then all you know is that you have to get the hell out of there right that second!  It is not really fare to compare this with lots of Starbucks either.  With coffee you sort of get excited for a while, it gets the engines going, may be get the shakes and the twitches.  The low is comparable to eating a large turkey sandwich the day after thanksgiving, you get all groggy, kind of full, basically nothing that a good nap won’t fix.  But when you’re on the “Chi” or as it’s known on the streets “C-T”, you could be fixed for days!  Unable to eat, sleep, form complex sentences like “No thanks, I’ll eat something that’s not on the floor” and “Sure I’d like some front seat tickets to $3 Flip Flop Fiasco!”  We catch soldiers all the time all hopped up on the Chi, with their good time buddies, turning over cars, looking for kicks.  What it does is create this insatiable appetite for mayhem and makes people the worst kinds of human beings, those who wear sandals and socks together.  I’d publish some pictures of what Chi does to the normal person, but I don’t really want to push the boundaries of good taste, not until the fourth or fifth post to the blog.  Then it’s basically me trying to corrupt

America

as a whole, but let’s leave that for another day.  We’ve found a local Chi dealer on the FOB and we’d kick him out, but he’ll just end up in some other FOB down the block pushing his product.  And I can’t prove it but I’m sure that this addiction reaches the highest pillars of society here.  So if you have the time please email me for the full list of what I’ve developed as a Kick-the-Chi habit kit.  Basically it’s a list of common household items that you can find around the house that can help you or a loved one if you find them in the grip of this terrible addition.  The abridged list contains the following; ¾ wrench, half a gallon of Acidophilus milk, 6 pack of Dr Pepper, beef jerky, posted notes, Styx Greatest Hits and nude pictures of Bee Arthur.  I hope this can help.

Comments

[Cherry Cola]

Chai is AWESOME! :-)

[Christi]

Hi PJ,

Amy sent me here too. Your blogs are great...and we don't care about grammatics...just that you and the rest of our friends & family are all doing alright....even if you are hyped up on some sort of "Chi"...which doesn't even remotely sound like the Vanilla Chi I drink here in NY....

Just keep the posts comming our way...and thoughts, prayers, and blessings for a speedy & safe return will keep going yours....

Christi

[Sgtdebbie]

My son just returned from Iraq last week. All of you have my prayers everyday. I want each and everyone of you to come home safe and sound.

[larry joe]

thank you for fighting and being their i wrk for city in tenn and really aperecate all u do
On chi neeed to give it some of our workers to get some wrk out of them lol

[Alanita]

Howdie, PJ!! You've got one hell of a sis, AMY! She loves you an awful lot.

Just wanted to say thank-you for your commitment to our country. You've got a difficult task on hand, and my hat goes off to you! I'll bet you miss your family alot, too.

We drink Chi tea around the hospital that I work at here in OHIO...it really tastes yummy...wonder if there is any difference in Iraqi tea and Ohio tea? Hmmmm...anyways--if ya wanna know more about me...click on ALANITA on your sister's friends list. :) Take care, and have a wonderful day! God bless you and all of your men!

[Maire]

Amy forced me here to read your blog. No, really. Shoved my face into my monitor and said "Look...this is my BABY BROTHER...read his shiznit and BE NICE."

I love your sister.

Your blog entries are a trip. I can't wait to read more. :)

On another note, I have at least a dozen friends and family out there with you and you are all in my prayers. Godspeed, and I hope you get to come home soon.

[Wolfie]

Hi PJ! I'm a friend of Amy's on Yahoo 360 and stopped by to check out your blog. Dude, you had me in stiches with this. Glad you are finding some humor in your daily tasks over there. Stay safe and I hope you are able to come home soon. Thank you for your service! -Wolfie

[AMY aka your BIG little SISTER]

You are sooo funny..I LOVED THIS!!! Guess u will be in rehab when u get back huh?? LOL >>

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!