Hello gang! I have to direct your attention to one of the photo albums “Images that Amuse” View this photo , there is a picture in there of a young man getting kicked in the ‘fun box’! The story behind this photo is quite weird and it takes you, if your willing, on a fantastical and odd journey into the psyche of boredom. I was sitting alone by myself (and by myself I mean there is no one around), when this kid comes up to me and goes “Hey you wanna see a cool picture!” I’m like “Ah YEAH! Does it involve Kittens?” Well it didn’t instead it resulted in an utter shock to my system. A similar reaction would be to surprising someone with pictures of a nude elephant man when they’re fresh out of open heart surgery. “Hey Jackie, I know your supposed to take it easy, but BAM!” And the recipient would exclaim “EEEGAD” or “AAAGGGGHH” or maybe a polite “No thank you, I just got out of open heart surgery, I’m not ready to go back in”.
The story behind the photo is that the four guys were bored, so naturally when guys get bored stuff will happen, unnatural, unsettling, weird stuff. Examples throughout history where boredom has run amuck, leaving guys to their own devices are the Crusades, Fanta Soda, England, Rugby and Funyuns. Moving on, so they got together and there was the receiver, we’ll call him Jackie. The other three, the good, bad and ugly, we’ll call Groucho, Marco and Polo. These three amigos muster up a whopping $25 and present it to Jackie. The deal was of course that Jackie would get kicked in the Netherlands in exchange for the currency, an obvious and sensible transaction. Which was probably Groucho’s idea; he is the kicker and by far the most sinister character in this quartet!
Now I’d like to publicly object to this practice. I have never, ever, ever, EVER agreed to any contact in an aggressive manner to that region of my planet! NO SIR! And not for a messily 25 pesos either, oh no, it have to be at least…more than that, a lot more. The simple physiological reactions a man goes through when this happens are simply mind boggling! Nausea, pain, lightheadedness, seeing spots, more pain, whooping cough, a three day rash, some more pain, loss of breath, feelings of depression and abandonment, and YES more pain, but these are but a few of the symptoms. And if you’re willing to let someone kick you in reproductive organs for a lousy $25, then maybe, just maybe you should not be using them in the first place (Notice that I underlined not, I just wanted that point made crystal clear). Maybe its Gods way of thinning out the gene pool? You there! For the good of humanity kick that man, he shouldn’t reproduce!
Really if you look at the rules there are only a few circumstances where it is okay to kick a fellow there. Now ladies, behind closed doors and in private places (no pun intended) you are taught how to correctly place a well aimed kick to this geographical area. I’d just like to add that this is not cool, unless you follow the rules. Conveniently I’ve included those rules here, so you can review them, analyze them, study them, because there will be a test later.
You are only allowed to kick a guy there if….
1. You’re fighting naked
2. He out weights you by 150 lbs or if he’s going to cut you
3. You’ve just been kicked there and are still able to stand, if not you are then void of any right to return the favor at a later date
4. There is more than 12 of them
5. A large pot of gold is some how involved
6. In prison fights where rule #1 may or may not apply
7. If a large crowd of people are carrying swords, other sharp or blunt objects, then you may find yourself in a Vikingesk Epic Battle, so I’d watch out
If you find yourself in a situation where one or more of these circumstances are in play, then by all means kick away. If not, please don’t because it sucks.
It’s important that society follows these rules. It is the very thin line that separates us from the crazies! Just remember that once you cross the line you are then subject then to the snubbing of other men.
Well, after seriously reflecting upon this and obtaining opinions from both my teenage son and my husband... yeah... this guy should NOT reproduce! LOL
Posted by: Cherry Cola | February 25, 2006 at 01:30 PM
I am a female and do not have a pair, but "OW!" All the same!!! lol
Posted by: Didyamizzme | February 18, 2006 at 01:40 PM
Owie. (No not in sympathy with the picture; my ribs hurt from laughing.)
ROFL! And I just gave your Aunt Donna this link! Oops.
Stay safe. Dad & I love you!
And...uuuhhh...PJ? Hope you don't get too bored over there!
:-D
Posted by: Your mom | February 17, 2006 at 07:13 AM
OMG, $25? I felt that and I.m not even equipped in that area. That was too funny. Your Sis directed me here and said I'd laugh... she was right:)
Posted by: Dolicia | February 16, 2006 at 04:46 PM
lmaoooooooO!!!!!!!!! This is toooooo funny!!!!.... ohhh you're hurting me!!!!...laughing too hard!!!!!!!
Posted by: Emoshun | February 16, 2006 at 12:10 PM
I want a PJ original picture done with photoshop...the one of John and Melinda is GRRREAT! :) ha!
Posted by: Amy aka big LITTLE sis | February 16, 2006 at 11:28 AM
$25???? Ain't no way, no how!!!! OOwwwwwwwwww!!!! I am now suffering from sympathy pains after viewing that photo... LMAO!!!!!! That's hilarious! And the list is perfect!!!! Unless your life is threatened, no kicks to the ding-a-ling area are permitted!! Great post today. Loved it!!!
Posted by: Wolfie | February 16, 2006 at 10:56 AM
OMG!!! That was HILARIOUS...TOOOO FUNNY...I am falling out of my chair laughing...men...the things they do...SOOOO FUNNY! Thanks for the laugh bro..I miss you and LOVE YOU!!! xoxoxoxoxox
Posted by: Amy aka big Little Sister | February 16, 2006 at 10:46 AM