Booty Insurance and Spelling Bees

As is the tradition here I will say something, hopefully with the written word since language doesn’t go very far via the internet.  So here we go; if you know me you know I have some mildly bad tastes in things.  Such as bad music, bad movies, bland food and generally being physically uncomfortable all the time.  I like Hootie and the Blowfish, a lot, my favorite movie is so bad I can’t even watch it a bunch (it’s a 80’s B movie called Flash Gordon, terrible! But I love it).  In high school I didn’t mind the cafeteria food that much and Army food while considered extremely horrible by the general populous, in my opinion is really not that bad. 

I do love music, all kinds, types and generas, from Hootie to Jay-Z to Bobby Marley to Elvis Costello; I pretty much like anyone who puts forth a decent effort.  I can go, “Hhmm while its making the majority of the audience’s ears bleed, I can see that someone spend some undisclosed amount of time putting this all together, so way to go! Or that sounds like crap, he’s just not trying.” 

The reason I bring this up is that I saw a Jay-Lo Video on the internet and I was thinking, when you have dancers that are shaken “it” very fast with much intensity, how many dancing related injuries happen on the video set.  When there is like twelve dancers shaken “it” at the speed of sound and say they lose control of “it” and “it” goes flying off in a random unexpected direction injuring a camera man or the guy scratching your favorite records, is there insurance that covers that sort of thing?  I mean if I had to sell insurance for a living I’d sell booty insurance!  I think it’s a good concept, you’ve got some back up dancers who hang out with you and are part of your entourage; you’ve got to provide them with benefits don’t you?  I mean hanging out and being really, really ridiculously good looking is okay and all, but even Zoolander needs to plan for the future.  Think about it you’re a dancer in the latest Beyounce video and you get a lower back injury because you’re shaken “it” hard enough to make seismographs register some sort of reading and in your hustle and bustle you dislocate all your widgets.  Then you’ve got to have a plan!  The doctor bills start piling up, the only work you can get is some sort of Swanson’s TV Dinner Commercial, where you’re dancing around the cherry cobbler, come on, and no one wants to live like that, no one.  Not me anyway!

Another thing I’ve noticed about a lot of music now, not just R&B/Rap, I mean Rock and everything.  There is a lot of spelling!  What is up with all the spelling?  I thought public education had failed society only to find out that the academic subject Pop culture as a whole embraced was spelling!  I wish I could grasp good spelling skills as easily.  I didn’t think famous people cared about that sort of thing, but they support it, which is good of course.  Matt Daymond sponsoring a foundation promoting good spelling skills and a full grasp on the letters D, O, R and K, way to go Matt.  But of course there is probably a dark side to Pop culture spelling. 

You can only imagine in back alleys of America a bunch of kids standing around in a circle rap spelling!  Instead of rap battles, break dance fighting or the not so popular river dance duels, you’ll end up with the youngsters of America Spell Slapping each other. 

“Dude, kick this guy’s consonants in the face!  He probably can’t spell the difference between prestidigitation and constipation!  AHHHAAAHAHAHAHA!!”  Kids can be so cruel. 

Next thing you know the kids will be to afraid to bring their English books to class because last week Bobby McGee got shot behind the school house because some one said he didn’t know the “K” was silent!  Police frisking people looking for spelling flash cards and dictionaries.  “Where did you get this Thesaurus?  Tell us who your dealer is!  You know you can get 5 years for a code 13 or an A,E,I,O,U and sometimes Y!  You have no R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the law, none!” 

Suddenly Webster is public enemy number one.  Then you’ve got metal detectors at Spelling Bees and English teachers who have to wear bullet proof vests in class.  Rehabilitation centers for kids hooked on the vowels!  It’s a dark, D-A-R-K, dark future my friends. 

Comments

[Carla]

Hello Amys brother P.J.First I must say that you are too funny, but it would not surprise me if J-Lo did not already have this booty insurance you are talking about!LMAO!!!

[Chris (Wolfie)]

That was another Hoot-n-a-holla!!!! You continually amaze me at the humor you find in the simplest things... "Spell slapping"... Oh MAN!!!! "Hey, I'm gonna K-I-C-K Y-O-U-R A-S-S.... By the time you get all that out, the other guy has hit you with a barstool.... LMAO!!!! Stay safe and peace!

[Maura Alia]

Booty insurance...Now that's an idea a lot of folks can get behind. No, I didn't really type that, did I? U hella funny baby. ~
Moxie~ aka WingWalker on 360

[PoeNotic Diva]

PJ you are tooooooooo funny....ROFLMAO. Ok with the booty insurance. I love that. Or does one of those false Tits come flying out and the silicon blinds someone for life....LOL. Hi I'm PoeNotic a friend of Amy's you will be hearing from me more. I like your blogs. Be careful and oh by the way we have same taste in music. I like stuff others don't like. Especially being black and liking country and western, Warrant, Eric Clapton, Sting, The Eagles,etc. Elvis....lmao.Stay in touch. I shall.

[Amy aka big LITTLE sis]

OMG...that was HILARIOUS...ha ha ha ha...where do you come up with this stuff....um..er...or do I want to know? LOL

great post as always....I am die n' ovah heyah I tell ya!

Hugz and Kisses...Miss you tons and Love you much!

Amy xoxoxoxox

[Mary]

I think were on the same wave length.

[Cherry Cola]

You're too funny! LOL. I always enjoy reading your work. Thank you for entertaining us. Have a great day and look forward to more. - Cherry

[Mama]

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-S-O-N-S-H-I-N-E!
M-A-M-A

[Melanie]

That was R-A-D, man.